Don't Be Afraid...to Role Play!

Hi Everyone! Happy Halloween! This month, I wanted to talk about role play and how important it is! This past month has been so busy with my program, but at one point while I was taking practice test after practice test to prepare for my exams, I realized that I was essentially role playing the exam day in order to ensure that I was prepared for not only the material, but also accounting for my performance level and time management. Honestly, any time we prepare for something we are “role-playing” the situation. Role-playing is a way to facilitate the reenactment of a particular situation in a safe and calm environment. When I take my practice exams, I feel much safer and emotionally regulated than I would be in the actual exam setting, especially without any preparation. 

This past month, I have been working with one of my clients on emotionally-regulated and appropriate communication through role-play scenarios. In my opinion, the best ways for children to get practice within social scenarios are either real social experiences, or through scenarios and roleplaying. In my “Mental Health: Identity Helps” blog post from May 2024, I mentioned how beneficial it would be for your child to participate in social groups and work on their interpersonal skills within that setting, but in some cases it's even better to practice before entering that space. 

Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder may experience “limitations in Theory of Mind (the ability to conceptualize and reason about other people’s internal states)...weak executive function…and bias toward local over global coherence (the tendency to focus on details…rather than synthesizing them intuitively into a big-picture). [This has] suggested…a preference for systematizing (analyzing variables in a system to discern their underlying rules) over empathizing (intuitively inferring the internal states of others) and may be fundamental to the autistic cognitive style (Making Meaningful Worlds: Role-Playing Subcultures and the Autism Spectrum)." Difficulties with understanding others’ varied emotional states can result in their experience and reality being fragmented.

To help with this discrepancy, it's very important to role-play scenarios with your child early on. Think about some of the social situations that you may have been in when you were your child’s age. If your child is between the ages of 4-11, you may want to role-play some playground/ recess scenarios (ie. what to do when you have to share a toy with a classmate). If your child is a bit older, between the ages of 13-18, you may need to role-play scenarios that highlight more mature social conversations such as how to initiate conversations to make friends or how to advocate for yourself in uncomfortable situations. 

Let’s say for the sake of this example that you have a 6-year old with Autism Spectrum Disorder. He is very bubbly and loves to play with any kind of locomotive toy. He LOVES trains. You had a parent-teacher conference recently, where the teacher mentions to you that your child remains well-behaved during class activities and recess, but during indoor free play, he frequently fights with other children for the train toys. This behavior isn’t like him, and the teacher is unsure what to do. What can you do?

Lucky for this kiddo, he has an amazing, attentive parent who knows exactly what to do! Role-play!

In this situation, you know the motivator for his behavior: the toy truck. Seems to be a pretty salient stimulus considering it's his favorite toy right now! For roleplaying with your child, the first thing you want to do is notify them that there will be a change occurring soon. Letting them know that they are in a role-play scenario may allow them to have a calmer demeanor when the change occurs, and they will not feel blindsided. Let them know what your goal is with this role-play! In this scenario, because your kiddo is 6-years old, try and keep your explanation concise; for example you can say "We can learn to share!" Next, start setting the scene. Bring out the toy truck and let him play with it for a little while, I would advise for 3-5 minutes of play. Then, you can adopt the role of another classmate (while he maintains the role as himself) and ask him "Can I play with the train?" It is important to use a similar script each time during this stage of learning and practice with the skill. Depending on your child's response, you can reinforce the desired behavior with a high-five or social praise (ie. "Great job!") or restart the role-play and try and guide them towards the appropriate response (ie. "Let's try again).

Now let's say for this scenario, you have a 14-year old with Autism Spectrum Disorder. She is quiet in school and does not have experience with initiating conversation with the children her age at school. You also realize that her grades are slipping, and believe that she may have trouble asking her teachers for help in class. What can you do?

If your assumptions are correct, then your daughter may need to learn appropriate ways to initiate conversations with others. Because this child is older than the one in the previous scenario, it may help by acting out both the flawed and the appropriate response possibilities. In this case, if you are practicing how to get the teachers attention and ask for help, make sure to show what things they should not do (while not reinforcing or reward the behavior to progressively decrease the behavior). You can state that you are playing the role of the teacher while she plays as herself. Take a mental note of her strengths and weaknesses in the role play.

You are playing the teacher. In this role-play, you are sitting in the front of the classroom typing away. Prior to the role-play, you let your daughter know that they will need to approach you and ask you for help on their work. Do not give her attention for maladaptive behaviors such as screaming "HEY." If that behavior continues, stop the role play and tell her concisely that screaming is not appropriate classroom behavior and that she should try again. The goal is to encourage her either raise her hand or walk up to the teacher and ask "Can you help me?" or "Can I have help?" 

There are some AMAZING online videos to use prior to role-playing as well. Watching videos "are invaluable for setting up role plays" and can help if your child is anxious to begin with actual role-playing (Role Play Practice in Social Skills Work for Children With ASD). The image below shows an online learning tool that I use with almost all of my kiddos, Everyday Speech. They have a curriculum structured for both Social-Emotional Learning and Social Communication.

For more complex, world-building role-play games, there are games like Hero Kids RPG and The Quest Kids Board Game. These are fantasy-themed games that involve maintaining the character-building and world-creating knowledge that they acquire through out the game, and engage in role-play and scenarios based on this knowledge. Hero Kids RPG has won a silver ENNIE award in 2013 for "The Best Family Game" category, so this game will be super fun for you and your kiddo! 

All in all, whether you decide to use role-play as a way to navigate social scenarios, develop their Theory of Mind, or just for the love and fun of the game, the best role you play in their lives is the caring parent you already are! Keep being present and actively finding new ways to socialize and interact with their world to make the most of it!

Thanks so much for reading :) please share and leave any comments or questions below! Under the source list, there are links to the games mentioned in this blog <3.